Author: MJ

This is a story about my daughter and I, and Mindy Kaling’s series, Never Have I Ever.

If you haven’t watched this awesome series on Netflix already (WTH are you doing, go watch!), it is about an Indian-American teenager and her relationships with the world around her.

I am of East Indian origin. My daughter is mixed race, white and East Indian. When I was naming my newborn daughter, I gave her an East Indian name, as I knew that, living in England, then Canada, we wouldn’t really have much to do with East Indian culture – I wanted her to have a piece of her heritage in her name.

As she is growing up, however, we have struggled to bond. The ‘East-Indian Mother’ stereotype is strong in me (even if I am trying hard to not be that mom), and she does not respond well. So we’ve been at odds for a while, despite our deep love for each other.

Then came Never Have I ever and Devi Vishwakumar and her mother Nalini, and we fell in love.

That’s Nalini, up there, and she is me. I identify so strongly with her, in so many ways. The constant desire to be better, to be cool, to bond with my daughter – but not knowing how, the sarcastic Indian mom one-liners… seriously, Nalini is me.

My daughter, we’ll call her Miss Adz, laughed so hard at the one-liners, nudging me every time we watched the show, “Mom, she’s you!”. Also, the TikTok video below… Adz was in hoots of laughter… “You’d so make me do that, mom”

@netflix

full never have i ever dance 💃 #neverfitin #neverhaveiever #nhie #netflix

♬ original sound – Netflix

Miss Adz also identified a lot with Devi. The slightly nerdy, super smart Indian kid who struggles socially and emotionally, but is sure of herself, and her place in the world. Now if only the world would see it her way. Despite her age, she considers herself really mature.

What Devi and her mom really did though, was bring Miss Adz and I closer in real life. As she grows up, I’ve felt her independence, and it’s hard for me to let go. But as Devi and Nalini teach me, I have to let go to let her grow into the amazing person I know she is going to be.

As Devi’s therapist tells her:

“You’re not crazy. You just feel a lot. And that’s why sometimes, you hurt a lot. But that’s also why you’ll lead an emotionally rich life.”

Words to live by.

One of the key elements of my storytelling has been to share personal posts. My own website is all about sharing recipes and memories from my life in India, and it’s unique selling point is my personal story.

Sharing Stories

In this infographic, I have shared how you can take your own memories, and tales from your life, and turn them into an engaging story. There are several elements to this, and I have taken five of the most common ones and shared it in the infographic.

When creating this graphic, I kept in mind the basic principles of storytelling, but added those elements that I believe are useful to successfully tell a personal story. It is easy to tell people about plot, characters, spectacle, and endings, but at the same time, a personal story doesn’t necessarily always follow the same steps. For me the key elements of a personal story is to build the connection between the storyteller and the reader, so there are elements in this graphic that are not always in the list for effective storytelling, but nevertheless, are important in telling personal stories.

Design Elements

When designing the graphic, I also kept in mind design elements like colour, themes, and graphic elements, so it looked cohesive and clean. Since my story was was about sharing a moment with my grandfather, and his chickens, I included a little nod to chickens by using feather pens throughout. I also gave little examples through the infographic to illustrate my points.

I’ve always enjoyed telling stories from my childhood in India. For this assignment, I picked a memory of an Indian snack, with a strange name, and decided to talk about it, and the memories of my grandparents that went along with that snack.

This was always meant to be a sentimental thread, but I started off my talking about the snack itself, telling people what it is. I made it sound intriguing, because the name of the snack is ‘biscuit ambade’, but they are not biscuits as we know it. It draws the reader in, leaving them wondering what the thread it about.

I segued in the middle, talking about my memories of eating that snack at my grandparents’ house. I used descriptive language, as I like using words, rather than visuals, to paint a picture. This isn’t necessarily always the best way to engage on Twitter, but for a thread like mine, I felt that gifs or images would take away from the impact of what I was going for, engaging the readers, and letting them imagine themselves in the village with me and my grandparents.

I ended the thread with a wistful look back at those short, sweet memories that we remember at odd times, those that we like to recount to our children (probably making them roll their eyes), but those that mean so much to us. It summed up the sentimentality of the thread, but also gave the reader an insight into my mind at that moment, and encompassed the universality of emotional feelings, by evoking childhood memories.

My mother-in-law and I share a love of reading. Differently. She loves her paper books, and I prefer e-books. So, one Christmas, she sent this book, It’s a Book by Lane Smith, ostensibly for my daughter, but really, as a cheeky little nod to me.

It is slightly ironic then I am going to write five hundred words about this book, as it turns out, it did end up being my favourite. Why? Because the book is one of the shortest books you’ll read. And it’s one that you will laugh out loud at. I don’t want to give away the ending of the book, because you really need to discover it for yourself. But I will tell you that it’s brilliant and totally worth getting the book for your favourite kid (or just pretend it’s for a kid).  

There are just three characters in this book. Well, four, if you count the Book, which is a character in itself. There’s Jackass. A Monkey. A Mouse. Monkey and Jackass are friends. Monkey is reading a Book. Jackass is confused. Does the Book need a screen name? A password? Does the Book tweet? Does it make loud honking noises? Perhaps it needs a mouse (Mouse?). And then Jackass starts reading the Book. And reading. And reading. Then Monkey realises that he is not going to get his Book back. Which leaves poor Monkey having to go to the library to get another Book.

And what happens afterwards? Well, you’ll have to read the book.

What do I love about It’s a Book?

The story – It is simple, straightforward and seriously funny.

The characters – Beautifully illustrated, relatable (well, if you’re my mother-in-law and I), and cute.

It’s universal appeal – Both adults and kids will adore it. Adults, for the subtle jabs at our tech-focused culture. Kids, because it is hilarious and well, slightly subversive.  

It’s commentary on our world – Simple, the book might be, but it makes some important points about my generation (digital immigrants), and my children’s generation (digital natives). Just like dear mother-in-law chose to make her point.

Subtle – It makes its point without hitting you over the head with it.

For such a short book, it does have an impact, and I love recommending it to anyone who asks me for my opinion on children’s books. My daughter and son have both developed a love of reading. To me, reading and storytelling is about taking the reader on a journey. As the reader gets more and more engrossed in the story, the story changes as per the imagination of the reader. It is what I love about books. I have read a huge number of books in my life (last year, I set a personal record of reading 565 books) and I love that I have passed this passion for reading to my kids. Someone once said that you’re never lonely with a book in your hands.

Well, if Jackass can learn that lesson, so can we all.